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funny Twitter bios
@badbanana
Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
@jeffnoelmidlife
Aggressively unfancy.
@ZacharyColbert
S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R
@bgibbs73
Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football.
@killer_bunnie
Have own hair and like ugly things
@JAMCollective
Puttin’ the ‘elation’ in ‘Public Relations’
@iamaveronica
I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
@TheBloggess
I have friends in spite of myself.
@matsbe
Probably the best meat eater in the world
@jpundyk
Nice guys finish lunch.
@HotAmishChick
Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless
@JeffCThorson
I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically.
@growden
there is a problem with this mattress
@howardgr
A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.
@ohyesshecan
social strategy & implementation. will work for shoes.
@katefettie
You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target
who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to meet you, too.
@radmul
If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment
@nancyfalls
I’m @JasonFalls’s wife. I am not on Twitter. Go do something useful.
@shariv67
I’m 25% mom 25% comedian 62% boobs 48% mathematician and 100% woman-monkey.
@robburnsbrain
I once sneezed a beenie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.
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